Mustachioed congressman backs out of support for tax break for mustachioed Americans

The mustache lobby has a voice. They will not be silenced.

“We are highly disappointed by their reversal based on the fact that the congressman’s opponents in the race are jumping on the bandwagon to criticize him. They obviously don’t understand what it is to be a mustached American.”

Mustachioed congressman backs out of support for tax break for mustachioed Americans

23 Reasons I Gave When Asked, “Why Are You Growing a Mustache Again?”

23 different reasons I gave when asked by someone why I was growing a mustache again this year – none of which were actually the reason I grew a mustache again this year.
1. I lost a bet.
2. Why not?
3. My wife hates it.
4. My lip gets cold when I ride my bike.
5. For charity.
6. I look good with a mustache, [wink].
7. For Twitter.
8. It tickles.
9. I won a bet.
10. I don’t need to answer questions like this.
11. I like the smell.
12. They’re making me do it at work.
13. I’m trying to get fired.
14. My wife loves it.
15. Because I can, sort of.
16. It’s none of your business.
17. The children of strangers like it.
18. It makes me look older.
19. It’s a secret.
20. It makes you think, doesn’t it?
21. It allows me to enjoy beverages for an extra second.
22. Everyone’s doing it.
23. I’m not.

23 Reasons I Gave When Asked, “Why Are You Growing a Mustache Again?”