24: Episode 18, 12 AM – 1 AM

Key Words: , ,

Is this week’s episode going to suck? I sure hope not, and our guest Jen MS hopes not also.

9:02: The president has a cell phone? That he answers by himself? Do you think he has Domino’s pizza in the speed dial?
9:03: Here’s the thing, “24” has done such a good job of convincing all of us that President Logan is a bumbling moron, that it’s impossible to take him seriously as a criminal mastermind. That’s one of the main problems with this show, they spend multiple weeks telling us one thing and then just change their minds all of a sudden and we’re supposed to go along with it.
9:03: President Logan just hung up on Christopher Henderson, and then Christopher Henderson looked at his phone like, “What the hell, did the president just hang up on me?” That was great.
9:03: I STILL hate those C.T.U. phone rings. Beep Beep, Boobeep.
9:05: I like Bill Buchannon more and more every episode.
9:10: Jack Bauer is going dark. WOAH. Not dark enough, huh, Heller.
9:11: Secretary Heller thinks he’s going to take the power back and be able to handle it. You know, Heller, with great power comes great responsibility.
9:16: Sometimes Chloe is good enough to realize there’s a sting going on, and sometimes she’s not good enough. It all depends on what the writers want to do on any given night.
9:17: Why were those security guards wearing white shirts instead of red shirts? What’s going on here?
9:18: Isn’t it impossible that President Logan would be able to talk to people like Karen Myers without them figuring out what he’s up to.
9:19: Well, well, well, look at Mike Novick watching news updates on his razor phone by Sprint. Available at Sprint stores everywhere.
9:20: Where is Curtis during all of this? Was he replaced by Homeland?
9:21: So now Mike Novick realizes that President Logan is telling C.T.U. the military is on the search and the military said they don’t know what’s going on. Big goings on. When President Logan does it that means it’s not a crime.
9:23: Come on, Mike, President Logan has been doing a damned good job of leading the country through the crisis over the last 18 hours. It seems like if he knew what was going to happen, he should have been doing a MUCH better job, right? It’s like he had the answers to the test on a piece of paper during the test and he still was asking his neighbors what to do.
9:29: I don’t think Miles is as big a jerk as he pretends to be either. I don’t think Chloe is smarter than everyone either. Just with computer codes and stuff.
9:30: GIRL FIGHT!!! I don’t think Chloe should have told her about President Logan’s plot against America.
9:32: You can always tell the type of President that isn’t getting the respect they deserve as president because they keep saying things like “I am the president, don’t forget that.”
9:38: First Lady Logan really isn’t as young or sexy as she thinks she is. Aaron Pierce doesn’t care.
9:40: President Logan as king. King Charles. He is above the law because he knows best what the country needs. I might eventually watch this season again and do a better job documenting the parallels between Charles Logan and George Bush.
9:42: Wait. Chloe was able to walk out of C.T.U. that easily? THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECURE BUILDING!
9:43: Jack MacBauer. Too bad it took Jack Bauer 40 minutes to find the heated pipe, otherwise he could have been more of a factor in this episode. He could have been somebody.
9:43: JBKC: 1 (Secretary Heller’s security detail)
9:50: JBKC: 1 (Henderson baddie)
JBKC: 1 (Henderson baddie)
NJBD: 1 (Secretary Heller’s security detail)
JBKC: 2 (Henderson baddie)
9:51: “Our government has no integrity.” That’s right, but who knew Jack Bauer was a democrat?
9:53: This is so stupid. GO GET THE TAPE, JACK BAUER.
9:55: Anyone who didn’t predict this ending down to being able to write out the dialogue doesn’t know anything about “24”
5 JBKC, 0 tortures, 1 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
Jack Bauer still needs some more JBKCs to catch up to everyone else on the show, but a couple more episodes like this and he’ll be right back in the running.
Totals for the season, 35 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 123 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 18, 12 AM – 1 AM

24: Episode 7, 1 PM – 2 PM

Key Words: , , , , ,

Well, Jack Bauer, what have you got for me this week?
9:03: I’m pretty sure they choseGregory Itzin to play President Logan because of how much he looks like Richard M. Nixon.
9:05: A daughter? Who doesn’t know you’re alive? Maybe you should see her at some point in the next hour? What do you think Jack Bauer? I was right, I was right. How long before she shows up?
9:05: Jack Bauer, the president won’t let you quit, he’s latched on to you like a giant boa constrictor of Executive Privilege and there’s no way for you to get out now.
9:06: The man with the yellow tie is an equal opportunity terrorist. If he can’t kill Russians, he’ll happily kill Americans.
9:07: What is Lynn’s relationship with this crack hooker? Oh, his sister. It seems like all the good genes went to Lynn from that set of parents. How are they going to make his meeting with her more dramatic, and more importantly, where is he going to get $500 in the next twenty minutes without going to the bank? I guess we’ll find out.
9:11: Chloe is a good problem solver when the problem is a high-end proprietary security system and the solution is the dude she was bagging. Also, she’s very adept at rolling her eyes.
9:12: “Audrey, the president thinks I can help.” Jack Bauer’s blood isn’t red, it’s red, white and blue.
9:18: Really, I don’t think there’s any chance that the First Lady’s going to be the first one he turns to for advice. Especially if she keeps slapping him like that. It’s not going to make her seem less loony.
9:19: Are we supposed to sympathize with President Logan and think that’s he’s changed a lot and that he’s going to be a good president for the next eighteen hours? I don’t know about you, but it’s going to take more than a kiss and slap scene with his wife and the aide he arrested illegally for me to change my mind.
9:21: “The only thing they won’t forgive is being lied to.” “I agree, why don’t we work on it together and see what we come up with.” Sheesh. This show definitely sucks again. Last week was unfortunately an exception and not the rule.
9:21: “It’s a proprietary network, so get to work.” Chloe’s describing the security on the building Jack Bauer needs to get into. Now, I don’t know what “proprietary network” means, really, but it seems like the majority of America, probably doesn’t either. However, I have to imagine that the people who do know what that means probably think this show is pretty dumb, though.
9:24: “Status check blue” sounds like “Flank 2 position.” Doesn’t it?
9:26: JBKC: 4 (3 security guards, Roessler).
9:28: I don’t have much to say about the Russian slave Roessler was keeping. It was funny, however, when she asked if Jack Bauer and Curtis were the police and Jack Bauer said something or other. Like she knows the difference.
9:33: I kind of hope the terrorist kills the motorcycle mechanic just to prove a point. “See kids, it just shows to go ya that you can NEVER trust a terrorist.”
9:35: “Trust me, you don’t want to go down this road with me.” If that guy just cried out like that from a little slap, there’s no way he’s going to last too long. He just doesn’t have the stones. Torture: 1. I really like the way Jack Bauer bargains. This guy asks for a lot, Jack Bauer does not bend an inch. WTF? Lynn just lets this guy go? No way. I guess he doesn’t have time for this type of thing when family is involved. How can Jack Bauer let him have the girl? He’s got a daughter about that age. How would Jack Bauer feel if someone took his daughter and used her as a pawn in an immunity deal with an aider abettor of known terrorists? How would he feel if he knew I made up words like aider?
9:42: Jack Bauer’s beautiful plan is to put a chip onto a chip? That doesn’t really seem like it’s going to work out, but Jack Bauer does what he wants around here.
9:44: Chloe has a serious personality disorder. It’s not even worth pretending that you’d want to hang out with her because having her around would not be revenue neutral. She’d be a total drag
9:46: What is going to happen in the west hallway? I can’t even imagine what the next plot twist is going to be. Oh. Walt Cummings is hanging from the ceiling. That fits.
9:47: NJBD: 1 (Walt Cummings). Something’s definitely up, and I don’t just mean Walt hanging from the ceiling. The first lady had motive (Cummings killed Palmer), Mike Novick had motive (political fallout reduction), President Charles Logan had motive… Well, no he didn’t, but he is clueless enough for lots of crimes to be committed on his watch.
9:52: Really, why is Lynn carrying $500 around? Oh. He’s just got a piece of paper worth $500. Samwise is such a douche, he just got mugged by his sister and her guy. How many times do you suppose that’s happened? 4? 5? Lynn’s sister probably calls every spring and pulls the same trick. Unbelievable. What was the point of that little plot twist? Did they really need to fill time that badly? I guess so.
9:54: Jack Bauer is really going to try to send this 15 year old off with Roessler? There’s just no way.
9:55: Listen to Jack Bauer. When he says something like “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,” one of two things is going to happen. Either nothing is going to happen to you, or something really bad is going to happen to you.
9:55: Prediction: The Russian girl isn’t in the bedroom when they get back.
9:56: YES! See?! That’s why you can’t trust a terrorist. They give their word they won’t kill you and then they kill you after you finish helping them.
9:57: Damn it. Wrong again. The Russian girl was there. And no Kim Bauer? WTF.
9:58: Well, that works, too. Imagine how mad President Logan will be when he hears that a 15 year old illegal Russian immigrant just shot the only link to the nerve gas. He’ll ask if that’s enough to go to war. I know it!
Final thoughts:
4 JBKC, 1 torture, 2 NJBD, Prediction Ratio 0% (0 out of 2).
It was pretty clear that something was going to happen with the Russian girl. She was either going to kill herself, kill the guy, or run away. I thought run away made the most sense, but I should have been able to figure it out. I’ve got to step it up.
Totals for the season, 17 JBKCs, 2 torture, 16 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 37.5% (3 out of 8).

24: Episode 7, 1 PM – 2 PM

Tuna “Sashimi”

Pasta. Chili. Stews. More pasta. Leftover chili.

Oy. I’m full just remembering. It was time for a change. Something lighter. Something healthier. Something impressive and yet easy. And then it came to me: ceviche. Tuna ceviche, to be precise, since we hadn’t had tuna in a long while. The ceviche ingredients (avocado, cucumber, tomato, red onion, limes) had already been purchased, and I planned to swing by the store on the way home from work for the freshest possible tuna.

And then I saw it. Sitting there in the fish case, calling to me — taunting me, almost — coyly, seductively, irresistably: Ultrafrozen sushi grade tuna.

Ultra. Frozen. Sushi. Grade. Tuna.

Yes, yes, it was $20/pound. But dammit, I’m worth it. And we only needed about half a pound. So, into the cart it went, and out the window went the plans for ceviche. It would have been a crime to cook or even marinate this tuna. No, it had to be enjoyed as it was, and since I didn’t feel like buying nori and don’t trust my ability to make rice, that meant no sushi, but rather “sashimi.”

(I’m putting sashimi in quotes because I don’t think I can presume to say that what I actually ended up making was really sashimi, and I have this fear of an authentic Japanese chef seeing this and shaking their head in dismay. Or, like, of Iron Chef Morimoto jumping into his monitor, out of mine, and pummeling me to death. He could do it, too.)

By the way, guess what happens when your cats get a whiff of the Ultrafrozen sushi grade tuna you brought home?


Once the cats were shooed, I still had to do some fancy thinkin’. The greens upon which the ceviche was to sit became a simple salad with a Japanese-inflected sesame vinaigrette: sesame oil, rice vinegar, salt, pepper, wasabi powder. The other ingredients got chopped and made into a ceviche-without-the-fish salad: diced avocado, roma tomato, red onion, cilantro, lime juice. (Sadly, I made this last week and can’t remember exactly the proprotions.)

I had a spare avocado, and I had this idea originally that I could make some kind of a dressing using the avocado instead of oil, but it ended up being way too thick. So, change of plans: an avocado, plenty of lime juice, some rice vinegar, a tablespoon of soy sauce, and a dash of wasabi powder went into the blender, and came out as a smooth and tasty paste. I spread a teaspoon or so of it on the plate, and laid the slices of tuna on top. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and scallions for garnish, and we had something that, even it if isn’t authentic, was delicious.

Tuna Sashimi

Tuna “Sashimi”

24: Episode 6, 12 PM – 1 PM

Key Words: , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m SO not ready for this week’s episode. I literally need 20 more minutes. Please Jack Bauer, please.
9:03: “Just so we’re clear, this is about getting Cummings, not revenging David Palmer.” Jack Bauer’s, says “I understand.” What he means is, “Uh, whatever, Samwise.”
9:04: Audrey says, “When Cummings realizes you’re alive, he’ll come after you.” That’s her way of saying, “I’m still in love with you, Jack Bauer.”
9:05: The gas was “stolen” from the airport? What exactly does that mean? Why was the gas at the airport, anyway? Don’t they guard that? Or was this a case of hiding something in an obvious place and hoping no one realizes it?
9:06: “So good to hear your voice, Jack.” Jack Bauer and Mike Novick had a tryst between the second and third season. No one knew, but that doesn’t make it any less hot.
9:08: I’ve really got to get away from just making fun of the dialogue. That’s no fun for anyone. What else have I got? Not very much.
9:14: Aaron the Secret Service Guy goes through so much, so robotically. What does he think about? Does he have friends? Frankly, I’m surprised he’s still on the show. He must know the director. I do like him, though.
9:16: I think this suspicious bad guy looks like Viggo Mortensen a little, but he just might be the worst actor of all time.
9:17: Audrey and Dianne might throw down. With looks, if not fists. Looks can kill, you know.
9:19: Jack Bauer doesn’t have time for emotions. Emotions are scared of him, though.
9:20: Aaron is putting himself on the line. Walt Cummings will be firing Aaron in a few moments.
9:21: Damn it, Walt. Don’t you know anything about plausible deniability?!
9:22: If this is such an “unspeakable crime” why is he talking about it? Who exactly does President Logan call in this situation? I saw him reaching for the phone, but, I mean, it’s not like you can just call the cops and have Walt Cummings arrested. There has to be a protocol for detaining a high level official from your own administration.
9:23: This is unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. Walt killed David Palmer?! My brain can’t handle this. What do you do when you’re the president and your top aide tells you he committed multiple felonies and crimes against national security just to frame a rouge nation in Asia? You must feel so helpless. I might have to start tracking the number of times “24” parallels the news of today. In the coming weeks and months you know that memos will leak out detailing Walt Cummings’ plans to lead the country to war under false pretense.
9:29: What a warm embrace, they were definitely lovers. Mike Novick was the one who introduced Jack Bauer to Audrey.
9:29: Jack Bauer is in custody! Jack Bauer is in custody!
9:30: Mike Novick’s not authorized to hear national secrets? Really? How is that possible? What is he, the Secretary of Agriculture? This is the second time the writers of “24” have allowed a president to ignore Habeas Corpus. Next thing you know, Jack Bauer is going to fake a relationship with a drug dealer’s girlfriend for no reason.
9:32: Oh yeah, Aaron the Secret Service Guy also had a thing with Jack Bauer. Did you see that look?
9:33: YES! Samwise, you need to KNOW when to disregard a Presidential Order. It comes from EXPERIENCE. Rudy is disregarding the order, but he doesn’t like it. Buchannon just schooled him.
9:36: Aaron the rogue Secret Service Guy? Let’s hope so. It must be hard to be a robot. Protect the president, Pierce, protect him from himself. If Jack Bauer ever says coup d’etat again or anything in any other language I might give up.
9:40: “What about you?” the rookie Secret Service Guy asks. “I’m Aaron Pierce the Secret Service Guy. I do what I want around here.” Do you think before each scene that Glenn Morshower is in, he asks the director, “How do you want me to play this one?” And the director says with exasperation, “Same as always, Glenn. You always ask that, it’s never going to change. Pretend you’re Kevin Costner in ‘The Bodyguard’, that’s how we want you to play it.”
9:41: JBKC: 1 (Walt Cummings). Torture: 1 (Walt Cummings). Normally, I’d give Jack Bauer extra points for torturing the PRESIDENT’S CHIEF OF STAFF IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING PRESIDENT, but the numbers must be accurate so I can’t bonus him.
9:43: There’s all sorts of crazy stuff swirling around right now. C.T.U. ignoring President’s Logan’s turns out to be right. “Agent Piece, take back your shield and get Walt Cummings out of my sight.” You know why, Walt, President Logan thinks to himself, “It’s because of something you said earlier, I’m the PRESIDENT.” You don’t lie to the President and get away with it. Not in “24”.
9:47: Now what I have to wonder is how does this relate to the current administration. Do we take the bait and fall for the first connection between the Logan administration and the Bush administration? Planting evidence to convince the country to go to war? Or do we take it one step further and use the scene of Pierce and Jack Bauer going against everything they’ve been taught and breaking multiple laws under the guise of protecting the country? I think that my main problem is trying to find parables in “24”.
9:51: Margaret, come on, he’s trying to apologize, don’t be that way. You know he’d still love you if you weren’t so crazy, right? Dry your eyes, honey.
9:53: Where is Mike Novick, by the way? If there’s any president that needs a few extra aides around, it’s President Logan.
9:53: I predict the gas doesn’t go off. This music is driving me crazy.
9:54: NJBD: 1 (Agent Schaeffer).
9:55: How does it feel, Walt Cummings? You double cross the country (or break multiple international laws to start war, all with patriotic motives, either one), you get double crossed yourself, a perfect example of why not to look for the lessons “24” is trying to teach. BECAUSE THEY DON’T EXIST.
9:56: So let’s get this straight: This Russian terrorist was going to teach Moscow a lesson, but then he realized something was fishy, somehow got a government agent to confess, and changed all those plans just to get back at Schaeffer, Cummings, and the USA? That doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know much about terrorists, but it seems like they’re focused enough to attempt the elimination of the first mortal enemy before moving on down their hit list. Is this guy really that different?
Final Thoughts:
1 JBKC, 1 torture, 1 NJBD, Prediction Ratio 50% (1 out of 2).
Wow. That’s about all I can say. I’ll admit I’ve been somewhat of a “24” gadfly of late, but tonight’s episode was about as good as they’ve had EVER. There were many surprises and finally almost all the characters seemed to be a bit smarter than the average mailbox. Big ups to Aaron Pierce for making it possible for Jack Bauer to torture President Logan’s chief of staff right in front of him. That was probably the most unpredictable television or movie scene in the history of moving pictures. Whew. Can’t wait for next week!

I have it on high authority that Kim Bauer makes her appearance on next week’s episode. You heard it here first!

Totals for the season, 13 JBKCs, 1 torture, 14 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 50% (3 out of 6).

24: Episode 6, 12 PM – 1 PM