On August 13th, both The Expendables and Eat, Pray, Love come out in theaters. The Monocular Group made a trailer for The Expendables to remind you what will happen if Eat, Pray, Love wins the weekend. “You will see this movie. Not off your torrents. In a fucking theater. Where violence belongs.”
Crappy movies
Sharktopus
We seriously didn’t get enough craptastic shark/octopus action in Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus? We need Sharktopus? I don’t think so SyFy. Of course I’ll watch it, but it has as much of a chance of being good as the St. Louis Rams.
Note: This movie has the rare distinction of earning the Unlikely Words “Crappy Movies” tag before I’ve even seen it.
Boondock Saints II? Seriously?
I can’t believe they’re making a Boondock Saints II seeing as how Boondock Saints is the movie I most often cite as worst movie I’ve ever seen. I also had no idea the writer/director was such an epic douche. I guess he gets points for being from Boston, but wow. Even someone who liked the first Boondock Saints thinks the second one sucks.
The Punisher (2004) & The Punisher War Zone (2008)
Both of these moves were awful, and I’m offended Marvel hasn’t put any effort into their best character. Also, I don’t think having these movies made means they can’t; there could always be a Hulk-style do over. War Zone was better, and I have no idea what John Travolta or Dominic West were doing near either of these projects.
Evan Almighty (2007)
Steve Carell shouldn’t make movies like this because they’re bad and they tarnish his image. I think I remember laughing, but not very much and not very hard. It couldn’t have been much worse.
Red Dawn Remake??
I had no idea there was going to be a remake of ‘Red Dawn’ starring Tom Cruise’s son. I bet it’s going to appallingly bad, and I also bet I’m going to watch the hell out of it.
No Reservations, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, Bridewars
These 3 movies were terrible, and for multiple high crimes against the viewer, including extreme character inconsistency, they will not be granted the 3 sentences each they would normally receive if they were just bad.
