What I really want to know about Eyeballing is when will it get combined with Bros Icing Bros? This article in the Washington Examiner is an exceptional description of the practice, mostly for the quotations. I selected a few of my favorites below.
Drug prevention advocates are warning Maryland police and schools to caution students against pouring vodka in their eyes…”They are going to go to Ocean City, and some of these idiots are going to do it and make themselves blind.”…”Vodka eyeballing” is a fairly new method of alcohol intake thrust into the national spotlight by a London tabloid. Hundreds of YouTube videos document the practice — and every time, the “eyeballer” screams in pain when alcohol meets the eye, whether by way of a shot glass or straight from the bottle. Doctors warn that the practice can lead to blinding…”Every time, it was a big spectacle where people were like ‘what the hell is that kid doing,’ ” said one graduate, who compared the feeling to getting shampoo in the eye…”It stings for a couple seconds,” he said, adding that snorting bourbon is much more popular…”It feels like a baseball bat hitting you in the back of the head — for about two to three minutes,” he said of inhaling caps full of the American-style whiskey…Maryland optometrist Alan Glazier compared eyeballing to an alcohol enema…”In essence, you could melt the cornea.”
I feel like I’m too young to wonder, “Is that really what the kids are doing these days?” And yet, is this really what the kids are doing these days?
(Thanks to Jake for sending these over and to whatevs.net for reminding me to post.
One explanation for why the bourbon and whiskey from Kentucky (and really, is there any other kind?) is so good? The water:
Kentucky’s water is special. It flows through limestone, which makes it high in magnesium and calciumâ€”minerals that also contribute to the magnificence of the state’s racehorsesâ€” and low in iron. These characteristics are good for fermentation and for the eventual flavor of the whiskey.
Also, by legislation, whiskey must be aged in a barrel for 2 years before it can be referred to as bourbon.
There’s got to be a joke in here. Think, think, think. Oh, yeah, how about… Er. I got nothing. What say you in the peanut gallery?
3:00 AM Does Jack Bauer get a JBKC for calming Marilyn down? I donâ€™t think so.
– Josh Bauer looks a little like Ricky Schroeder from Silver Spoons.
-JBKC 37, 38, and 39 (Chinese Baddies)
3:06: Is no one going to acknowledge Morris taking that dude out? Thatâ€™s weak. Morris is really not showing too many side effects from having a drill go through his shoulder and having a relapse of alcoholism, along with breaking up with the love of his life. Heâ€™s a straight trooper, he is.
3:13: I think night vision would be a lot sneakier than flashlights in the tunnel.
-It would have been funny if Josh called his grandfather â€œPop Popâ€ instead of Grandpa and then now, when he was angry, heâ€™d have to say â€œPop Popâ€ and sound really angry. What Iâ€™m saying is, itâ€™s hard to be mad at your grandfather.
-â€œYour grandfather is a visionary.â€ You love when Chinese espionage artists say that to you.
-JBKC 40 (Chinese Baddie)
-This is awesome.
-JBKC 41 and 42 (Chinese Baddie)
3:16 JBKC 43 (Chinese Baddie)
-Is it possible the Chinese have some sort of alternate escape plan? I would be very angry if that were the case.
-Yeah Josh! Youâ€™ve got to admire his pluck. Kicking Chang in the face like that.
– JBKC 44 (Chinese Baddie)
-Well, well, well. How the tables have turned? What are you going to do when Jack Bauer comes for you, Chang?
-I think Chang is a Ninja. He just disappeared.
-Whereâ€™s the rest of the team? Whereâ€™s Doyle?
-When Doyle says heâ€™s setting up a perimeter around the building, what does that mean if the whole team is on its way up to the roof?
3:19: Jack Bauer just killed a TON of people, that was outrageous.
3:25: â€œTom is out in the field running a classified operation.â€ Doesnâ€™t that sound crazy to anyone?
-Do you think President Palmer is out for the rest of the season? They certainly seem to be setting it up that way.
-A single Vice President? I guess this is the world where theyâ€™ve had 2 black Presidents in 3 years so a single VP is fine. Next year features a gay, Jew President.
-Oh yeah, this part, Lisa and the spy having sex for the FBI to watch.
-â€œAnd finally weâ€™re done.â€ Tom Lennox is on his 5th cigarette.
-The spy looks like he was in pain after that. She must be a wildcat.
-This is a pretty cool spy operation. But what have they left out? How did he know?!
-For an actress, sheâ€™s a terrible actress. I said that last week, but she was able to fool the VP for the last year and is in one of the most stressful positions in the government and she wasnâ€™t able to fool a dumb shit Russian spy lobbyist?
-Yeah, I donâ€™t think Tom Lennox interrogates people, but I have to say, heâ€™s good at it.
3:34: Seems like Chang probably isnâ€™t used to being told how things are going to be. Heâ€™s mad now. Jackâ€™s father knows when heâ€™s got the upper hand.
3:39: Is there any truth to the idea that Jack Bauerâ€™s father really is a patriot?
-Wow, another recycled plot line. C.T.U. is attacked and then some peeps from above C.T.U. come to investigate what happened and hassle people. Iâ€™m thinking next year, if I blog â€œ24â€, Iâ€™ll keep a count of repeated plot lines. Thereâ€™s been about a dozen over the last couple weeks alone.
3:41: Oh Jeeze, Lisa Miller really REALLY screwed this up. Too bad she wasnâ€™t able
-Why doesnâ€™t the VP just say, â€œSuvarov, we wouldnâ€™t be having this conversation if you hadnâ€™t let the bombs get into our country in the first place.â€
-Within 2 hours? Is that a mistake? Isnâ€™t next week the last hour? Maybe itâ€™s a two hour episode.
-Iâ€™m not sure I understand diplomacy at all. â€œYou get us this piece of equipment that holds the key to all of our defenses or else we will attack one of your bases near us.â€
-Can armies really be mobilized that quickly these days?
-Why did Suvarov have his agent under surveillance? That seems like a fundamentally inefficient system of information gathering.
3:54: Ah, Philip Bauerâ€¦ Is he a patriot or an opportunist? Are they going to repeat another plot line? Philip needs documentation from the AG before heâ€™ll do anything.
-If Suvarov is being squeezed by rogue generals, do we really think that theyâ€™d stop if C.T.U. recovered the chip?
-Wow, Josh Bauer has had a terribly traumatic day.
-Oh, next week IS a 2 hour episode. That explains it. The Russian ultimatum gives them until the last 10 minutes to retrieve the component. Can they do it? I think they can.
6:00: I like the ex-President walking around C.T.U. like itâ€™s no big deal. That happens all the time. Nothing to see here.
-Logan still wants to be treated like a President even though heâ€™s an ex-President, under house arrest.
-Uh, oh. Milo and Ricky have history.
– Cool move, Jack Bauer.
-JBKC: 11 (Vasily, in the basement, itâ€™s been a while.)
-Jono makes a good point: Donâ€™t those Russians speak Russian, theyâ€™re all talking to each other in English.
6:08: Hmmm, Martha Logan back in the show, too. Cool (sarcastic). Sheâ€™s crazy and sheâ€™s what this episode revolves around.
6:10: Ricky Schoreder is a freaking prick. A giant freaking prick.
-Maybe heâ€™s the bad guy?
-I hate this VP, too.
-I donâ€™t think Iâ€™m in the right frame of mind to watch this ridiculous fucking bullshit right now.
-Itâ€™s cool that they got LBJ without the charm to play the VP.
-I think that blonde woman is the VPâ€™s chief of staff. I wonder if sheâ€™s pissed that Tom Lennox is going to still be the chief of staff of the President(that is until the moral turpitude becomes too much).
6:20: The VP doesnâ€™t want to go into the Russian consulate because he doesnâ€™t want any proof that the Arabs werenâ€™t the bombers.
6:22: Look, itâ€™s Aaron! He must be psyched to live with a crazy person!
-Itâ€™s funny because she seems crazy, but just because we know sheâ€™s crazy, not because sheâ€™s doing anything crazy.
-Charles, Aaron no longer has to tolerate your sarcasm.
-Martha, we all know youâ€™re crazy, but we need you.
-â€œLet me get this straight. Theyâ€™re desperate so theyâ€™re coming to you, and youâ€™re desperate so youâ€™re coming to me.â€
6:31: Shavers the helicopter pilot is funny.
-Jack Bauer is the stopper of office romanceâ€¦ That was awesome.
6:33: Itâ€™s got to be hard not to shake someoneâ€™s hand when they stick it out there like that. Aaron is cold blooded.
-Martha put her glamour on for Charles. Donâ€™t flatter her, Charles, this is about the country, not â€œusâ€.
-Jesus, I donâ€™t want to deal with any of Marthaâ€™s crazy hysterics. This show is terrible.
-I donâ€™t remember Martha being an alcoholic, just bat shit crazy.
6:42: I canâ€™t remember whatâ€™s wrong with Jack Bauer. Did he get drugged or something?
-I hope Tom Lennox doesnâ€™t do this.
-Oh, man. This VP is so smarmy. I hate him. â€œI say it is, and Iâ€™m willing to bet you it is.â€
-â€œThese threats are reckless.â€ Youâ€™re damn right they are. Whatâ€™s the point of threatening that ambassador if they all know thereâ€™s nothing his country can do.â€
-I wish Martha and Charles hadnâ€™t been reintroduced this year. We could have done so well without them. Iâ€™m serious.
-Marthaâ€™s going to hurt herself and not be able to do the call. Sheâ€™s way more crazy than last year. They keep focusing on that knife.
6:47: People always hate when the people theyâ€™re used to fighting with wonâ€™t give them the satisfaction of a fight. Thatâ€™s whatâ€™s really bugging Martha.
-Oh, great, Martha just killed Charles.
-They kept focusing on the knife, you knew it was going to happen.
-If the ex-President is under a secret agreement house arrest, how does this get announced to the press. And is the country ready to lose 2 Presidents in one day? â€œ24â€ is nuts.
6:53: Sheâ€™s seemed to calm down a lot just now.
-Is the same Russian President as last year, I canâ€™t remember?
-Yes, the Russian Consulate is disobeying the Russian President! This gives grounds for the US to attack.
-â€œThe United States of America has the support of the Russian State.â€ That was a YES! Moment for me. I loved that.
-JBKC 12 and 13 (Russian Soldiers?!)
-It seems strange the Russian President would allow all the guards to get killed like that, but maybe thatâ€™s how they do things in Russia. Couldnâ€™t he have called someone else and told them what was at stake?
-Did Jack Bauer break a rib when he fell down the stairs? Thatâ€™s the only thing I can think of.
-Why didnâ€™t they take ex-President Logan to the hospital by helicopter? That seems like the logical thing to do considering, well, they had a helicopter right there and heâ€™s an ex-President!
3:00: I donâ€™t know if Milo is going to make it out of this, but after what he pulled last week, I hope he does. That was badass.
-If you order someone to kill your son, do you feel sadness when told the job is done?
-Thereâ€™s no way that guy would know Milo wasnâ€™t a trained field agent, he did blow up the tech van, didnâ€™t he?
-Jessie doesnâ€™t think Milo is going to make it either. Hopefully Jack Bauer gets there in time.
-JBKC: 9 and 10 (Bad guys).
-That was pretty cool. Jack Bauer didnâ€™t kill someone who didnâ€™t need to be killed (well, he could have killed him anyway) and the bad guy let her go when Jack Bauer was like, â€œYou know youâ€™re not going to kill her.â€ If I had more time, Iâ€™d explore this further.
-Marilyn, you idiot. You were sitting next to Jack Bauer. He could have gotten your son easily.
-Jack Bauer just told Bill Buchannon how it was going to be. Those plans seemed complicated, I hope Buchannon got them all.
-â€œHow could I have been so stupidâ€? Maybe if you stopped thinking about the Marilyn you knew 20 years ago, you would have seen this coming.
-Jessie just said, â€œWhat if Jack Bauer and Marilyn died, than no one would know his father is the bad guy. That seems like a big deal.â€ Jack Bauer doesnâ€™t know anything about hypotheticals.
3:14: Morris is an alcoholic? I wonder if heâ€™s going to have a problem with Milo being the hero when Morris armed the nukes?
-Oh, he IS going to have a problem.
-On his walk, is Morris going to get a drink? And heâ€™s got quite a swagger for someone who had a drill through his shoulder 2 hours ago.
3:16: Wow, C.T.U. got to the industrial park really quickly.
3:18: This is another example of leverage shifting from one side to another side, wildly. Has there ever been a reality where no one ever retains the upper hand?
-Uh, oh, Grandpaâ€™s going to kill me, I better leave.
-Uh, oh, Grandpaâ€™s threatening me with a gun.
-Jack Bauerâ€™s father is a giant prick. Willing to kill both his sons and his grandson. Whatâ€™s so great about his company?
3:25: Iâ€™m almost certain Tom Lennox is taping these conversations. If heâ€™s not taping the conversation, the dialogue is the most awful dialogue Iâ€™ve ever heard and â€œ24â€ should fire Tom Lennox and the writers immediately.
-â€œOur man will be here within the hour.â€ Does that mean weâ€™re going to find out if Lennox is taping the conversation or not.
3:28: Morris is definitely about to buy booze.
-Itâ€™s great that they introduced the idea of Morris as an alcoholic and needing a sponsor 14 minutes before he falls off the wagon. This show is telegraphing plot twists left and right, thanks for nothing, â€œ24â€.
-Wouldnâ€™t C.T.U. have Red Bulls in a staff fridge or something? Probably, but then Morris wouldnâ€™t have to walk to the corner store to buy whiskey.
3:36: Fox just had a commercial for a show called â€œDrive.â€ I thought it was a parody of â€œ24â€ for a car commercial. Nah, it was a real show.
-Which step was that, Morris? Apologizing to Milo.
-YES! Tom Lennox. Thank you.
-Yell! Yell! Cause a scene Tom Lennox.
-Shoot, too late.
-It seems Lennox wasnâ€™t taping the conversation.
-Hal Turnerâ€™s team is going to lead the attack on Gredankoâ€™s house? Am I the only one on the internet talking about Hal Turner? I guess not.
-Chloe just canâ€™t believe you anymore, Morris. After everything. How can she trust you after all of this?
3:43: So Gredanko escaped AND Phillip escaped AND Tom Lennox was foiled? The good guys are really having a hard time this hour.
-JBKC: 11 (Third bad guy).
3:51: Milo was a hotshot jerk at the beginning of the day, but he seems to be turning himself around.
-â€œPoint and shoot.â€ Thatâ€™s right, Marilyn,
-Why would Jack Bauer not have Marilyn call C.T.U.? What does that do but slow things down?
-What will Philip get out of trading Jack Bauer for Josh Bauer? What are the possible outcomes for this?
-Do we think Marilyn is going to go shoot Grandpa?
-Is Philip telling the truth here? I kind of believe him or at least want to believe him. Isnâ€™t it hard to believe Gredanko would be able to find out about Philip killing Palmer without
-Come on, Marilyn! Either she shoots him or he shoots himself or heâ€™s left already.
-Yes! I bet if you have three guesses for how every scene ends in â€œ24â€ youâ€™ll almost always be right.
-Looks like Charles Logan was pardoned to end our â€œlong national nightmare.â€ The best thing about being an ex-President? Not having to shave.
â€˜24â€² cuts down on torture scenes
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