A boat studying shark populations in South Africa was surprised recently when a great white shark JUMPED ON TO THEIR FUCKING BOAT. Not cool, shark. Not cool. “A smaller boat would have capsized.” Also, Guardian? You missed the headline.

Schröder recounted how she pulled her colleague to safety before the shark, weighing about 500kg (half a ton) landed on top of the bait and fuel containers. At first half of its body was outside the boat but in a panic the shark thrashed its way further on to the vessel, cutting the fuel lines and damaging equipment before becoming trapped between the containers and the stern. The crew found safety at the bow of the boat.