Like much of the east coast, Chuck Klosterman’s travel plans appear to have been impacted by yesterday’s weather. He documented his path through the several stages of traveler grief on Twitter, and then he stopped. Either his flight left, he ran out of batteries, or something more nefarious happened. In any case, enjoy.
-If I am allowed on this flight, I will become a better person. I will change. I will do whatever it takes. 6 hours ago
-Nothing is off the table. 6 hours ago
-I feel like I have entered a new level of desire. Things are clear now. I will give up everything for one thing. 4 hours ago
-If you (a.) need a kidney and (b.) control runway traffic at JFK, I’m ready to negotiate. #NotAHighQualityKidneyToBeHonest 3 hours ago
-How many people in this airport would kill a stranger with a hammer in exchange for air travel? #EveryoneExceptMaybeMyWife 3 hours ago
-A woman in the terminal is trying to stretch her legs by goose-stepping. The guy next to me is talking about Douglas Adams like he’s alive. 3 hours ago
-“My mother is optimistic about this flight,” says the goose-stepper. “That’s better than nothing.” #ActuallyIt’sTheSame 3 hours ago
-Maybe I should start wearing a sweater around my shoulders. I’ve probably been living wrong. This is my fault. 2 hours ago
-None of these people with sweaters around their shoulders seem upset. It’s like they understand the big picture, you know? They get it. 2 hours ago
-FYI: They don’t sell SARS masks in Huson News. 2 hours ago
-Whatever happened to SARS? That used to be so hot. 2 hours ago
-“My brother went to Simon’s Rock,” says the redhead sitting across from me. “He said, ‘Never go there. It’s a fishbowl.’ That was his take.” 2 hours ago
-Oh my God. The guy at the gate just got a phone call. Oh my God. What does this mean? What does this mean? Why isn’t he reacting? 2 hours ago
-WHY IS HE NOT REACTING? This dude is the Robert Parrish of Delta employees. React! React! YOU ARE ALIVE, MAN. 1 hour ago
This seems like as good a place as any to continue the Chuck Klosterman blog project Chuck Klosterman Chuck Klosterman Blog Project.
-Klosterman recently started selling his essays for $0.99 a pop. People keep predicting this is the future of essay writing/magazine articles, but I think it’s going to take a second to catch on. If there’s a good delivery system, though, all bets are off.
-Back in September, he had 5 ideas to make the NFL better. I agree with all of them.
Lastly, How Modern Life Is Like a Zombie Onslaught, which makes some good points about the Twilight series.