It’s time again for the 24 Live Blog. I’ve been pretty ambivalent about whether or not to do it again this year as the quality of the show keeps deteriorating. And yet, there’s something that won’t let me quit. I’m going to give it a go tonight and tomorrow to see if I’ve still got it, and we’ll see.

In case you’re new, this 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the ’24’ related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I’ll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

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We’ll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

4:00 PM
-Here go. Drugs, huh?
-Those assassins are inept. Peeps need to hire better employees.
-Jack the Grandpa… Can he save the world from granddaughters?
-Fox News, really?
-Kim looks a little doughy.
-“My father is not the type of person you ask twice.” That’s foreshadowing.
-I can’t remember how exactly things ended with Ethan last year, but it’s an understatement to say I’m surprised he’s still around.
4:11 PM
-Massive technical failure preventing any live blogging. Apparently, the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator takes up too much resources for DreamHost to handle… Ugh
4:17 PM
-The foreign president Hasan is a Casanova! That’s an unprofessional relationship with the press.
-Well, Jack is yelling, 21 minutes in. Not a bad ratio.
4:23 PM
-Cole Ortiz. What a terrible name.
-Oh, hey, it’s Starbuck! Why is she dressed ready to go out? That’s, uh, terribly unprofessional.
-Chloe! Yay!
-They use drones in New York City in 24? That doesn’t seem like a good idea.
-I’ve just realized I have absolutely no idea how last season ended, except that there was an attack on the White House and Jack Bauer won. Do we know how many years removed we’re from last season?
4:30 PM
4:36 PM
-I wonder if Jack Bauer still has President Taylor’s telephone number.
-Did they just say the name of the country was “The Islamic Republic?”
-“Sent our daughter to prison…”, divorce. That is a lot of turmoil for a sitting president.
-Err, if they’re deciding whether to tell Hasan before the press conference or after, why don’t they just do everything quietly, sign the papers, and then not do the press conference?
4:39 PM
-What are the chances that this helipad pick up goes without a hitch? There’s no chance it does. 0 chance.
-Jack Bauer has his man purse, but no surgery kit, apparently. That’s unfortunate.
(And then I lost track of time…)
-The obvious point is that marriages that are just a façade are not unique to the US.
4:52 PM
-President Taylor, still making terrible strategic decisions in season 8.

-Well, that’s ‘Damn It’ #1 from Jack Bauer…
-“We’re under attack!”
-Did Starbuck use a Sidekick to manage that screen just now?
4:56 PM
-WOAH! First Jack Bauer Knockdown of the season and it’s a doozy. 2 for 1. JBKC 1 and 2.
-Yeah, see, that’s exactly what I was expecting. Someone firing a surface to surface shoulder fired rocket from another building. That happens in downtown NYC all the time.
-Jack Bauer has so little faith in CPR it’s astonishing…
-Oh! The country is Kamistan, not the Islamic Republic.
5:00 PM
-Wait, I just thought about this… They heard the hit is going to happen during the press conference. Wouldn’t that be a threat to President Taylor, too?
-So CTU Dude Hastings is the Don Rumsfield of CTU Dudes?
-You might recognize Hastings as Don King from ‘Ali’.
-The Secret Service must have some protocols we don’t know about. Just because the threat is to a different president, shouldn’t they get the US president out of there?
5:09 PM
-Just wanted to point out it’s awesome they got Jason Schwartzman to play the president’s brother/adviser.
5:14 PM
-Chloe is having issues in the new and fast CTU.
5:16 PM
-The CTU NYC office reminds me of the headquarters from Alias.
-Not much of a secret headquarters if Kim knows where it is…
5:21 PM
– I can’t take Hasan’s brother seriously with that hair.
-I’ve got a way for Hasan to get assassinated. The traitorous brother can just do it himself instead of initiating a conspiracy. More risk, but way more certainty. The show could be done in an hour.
5:24 PM
-I can’t take Starbuck seriously when she’s dressed in a party dress… And, apparently Arlo can’t take her seriously either…
5:34 PM
-Chloe has NEVER asked for help ever. Also, funny that Morris got laid off.
-Kim knows that if you love someone, you have to let go (them fight terrorists).
5:37 PM
5:42 PM
5:44 PM
-“CTU has drones all over the city.” What the!?
-Kim knows that there’s no reason to worry about letting Jack come to LA after his work is done… All of his big projects the last several years have been done in under 24 hours.
-Wait, they’re trying to figure out where that Russian dude went? Wasn’t it clear from the surveillance photo that he was getting into a cab?
5:46 PM
-Someone works at CTU with a fake identity? Err… Why do I watch this show!?
5:52 PM
5:53 PM
-Fake regular accent from the assassin!
5:54 PM
-CTU NYC is so high tech these days.
-If Jack Bauer went into the armory to oget a gun, why didn’t he just get a holster also?
-Jack Bauer has gotten into it with so many different directors of CTU it’s absurd. At some point he’s going to need his own team.
-I don’t know why I’m watching this show.

Very convenient that the assassin is going to be on the UN security detail. It’s weird that he dropped the accent after pulling the gun on his friend. This premier wasn’t as good as the premiers from the last couple years. Not sure what it was. I might not have it this year. Tomorrow better be good…

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