6 Tips for Tiger Woods

This week, Bill Simmons takes on the Tiger Woods saga in a 2 part Tiger Zoo mailbag. One interesting section at the end is an extended look at the Tiger Woods/Don Draper similarities (they’re both the best and have beautiful wives, etc, etc). This list of 6 tips on how Tiger can rehabilitate his image, from PR pro turned filmmaker Dan Klores, also caught my eye. Especially #6:

1. If you can’t tell your wife the truth from the get-go, recognize immediately that you shouldn’t marry again, and that the grass isn’t always greener from the other side.
2. Hit the links, start giving huge bucks to African-American charities, show up at church, double your dose of Viagra and use it for your wife, understand “it’s never going to be the same,” see a shrink two to three times per week minimum, do Larry King, then a few weeks later do Leno.
3. Demand your money back from The Enquirer, and demand your money back from any of the girlfriends.
4. Ignore every so-called “crisis communication” expert who sought a headline by claiming you didn’t get out in front of the story, because they have obviously never been caught cheating on their wives.
5. Attend the NBA All-Star Weekend’s slam dunk contest.
6. Tell the world that Sarah Palin is an idiot so at least 52.9 percent of Americans will agree with you.

6 Tips for Tiger Woods

0 thoughts on “6 Tips for Tiger Woods

  1. Jeff says:

    after years of envying the guy, i think we are just a little relieved that he is not perfect and that his charmed existence has had its downside. lo and behold he is human.

    Like

  2. vic says:

    How can ppl say Obama is failing when he has only been in office for about a year? lets see these people as president and see if they could do better. I say this because most of the people that disagree with him are red necks or just racists. Although i disagree with some of the things hes trying to to i don’t think he is failing as a president. Not at all.

    Like

  3. Tim says:

    I don’t think that Vic is an educated man. Obama is a fucking dumbass and never deserved to be in office. I am not a redneck nor am I racist. Vic, stereotypes should not be misplayed because the retard that you voted for is driving this country into the ground.

    Like

    1. aaron cohen says:

      I don’t think that Tim is an educated man, but I’m curious in what ways he thinks Obama is driving the country into the ground. I’m also curious if he felt the same way about GWB, because everything was so much better last year at this time than this year.

      Like

  4. Will Tyler says:

    I don’t think that aaron cohen is an educated man, because it’s obvious that Tim is not an educated man. Otherwise he would understand that Obama is not a retarded man, just a politician.

    Like

  5. D-Train says:

    “I say this because most of the people that disagree with him are red necks or just racists.” Nice! Basically, if you don’t agree with me, you are either a racist or redneck.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s