Alright folks, this one’s for all the marbles. What better way for us to celebrate than for me to be absent for the final Live Blog of the season. I’m on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, and if you’re reading this, I wasn’t able to find a TV playing the last 2 episodes. Comments are open and I hope you think of this as YOUR live blog. I’ll put up a show review with my thoughts on the 24 finale when I get a chance to see the episodes.
I’ll need you guys to keep count of the JBKCs (or Jack Bauer Knockdowns) and the number of times someone says “damnit”. I’d ask you to count the stupid things that happen, but no one can count that high. In any case, have fun.
-The Deputy Attorney General is doing a deposition at 6:00 AM? That seems forced.
-And here’s the President, she ought to have at leas taken a nap.
-This guy Bob is a character.
-Former CTU Agent Kim Bauer. Clueless.
-This is ridiculous. Jack Bauer is just going to do that.
-What was Tony going to do?
-She’s like, “What are you bringing Bauer for”, because she knows how dangerous it is.
-Jack Bauer is a bio-weapon, but this is ridiculous.
-Good thing, they haven’t changed the thumb prints.
-What would Ethan’s excuse be for being there?
-Files? That’s it. Weak.
-Can the Chief of Staff detain someone?
-“He stole my property, Aaron.” Really? Property? Is she in 5th Grade?
-Why hasn’t anyone sent anyone to the airport yet?
-Renee Walker was pretty blase about Agent Franks dying, huh?
-“Electric tooth brush”? Or vibrator?
-It’s pretty awesome. Kim Bauer is as terrible an actress as Elisha Cuthbert.
-I can’t go through security with my nail clipper and these peeps had a gun and a knife? Unbelievable.
-Haha. The low battery forces Kim into action. Kim is the only traveler, ever, to not charge her cell phone when stuck at the gate. I don’t know about this show.
-Olivia is playing with a really, REALLY weak hand.
-What is she threatening him with? Like, if he does have the recording, what was his crime?
-The Chief of Staff can’t order a criminal investigation. I don’t think he can be searched without a warrant.
-I bet that was a duplicate card.
-I hate Olivia.
-Yeah, duplicate card.
-“A companion device to the recorder in my car.” That’s totally reasonable.
-Why are those guys wearing masks?
-Is this ’24’ or ‘X-Files’?
-Why is that guy Martin just walking around at 6:44? Didn’t he go back to bed?
-The FBI couldn’t tap into the airport cameras? Of course they could, it would just make things too easy.
-Are those airport cops bad, too?
-That guy was good enough to shoot both cops while driving after being shot in the leg? And charming.
-“With a D11 inverse router…” Oh, now she’s smart again.
-Pretty cool that the dude’s car has a USB input. I’d like that.
-Spinal tap Jack Bauer getting another 3 JBKCs!
-Haha, try to harvest his organs into bio-weapon with your neck broken, Doctor.
-Did they not do previously on…? They did that for the last couple double episodes.
-Taxi lot, completely abandoned.
-Tony hotwired a forklift.
-Jack Bauer was going to self-immolate.
-Seriously, do they really make Aaron Pierce work this long?
-So, can Ethan unresign?
-“This isn’t about getting my job back, it’s about the truth.”
-“This is the man who murdered my wife, Jack.”
-Crazy, double double double Agent Tony Almeda?
-“You’re not honoring Michele’s life. You are reveling in her death and she would despise you for this.”
-So… Tony just had a suicide vest there? That was lucky.
-Wilson is going to look at Jack Bauer’s medical record? Why?
-The redhead evil doer is very homely.
-They searched Tony, but not Jack Bauer?
-“First I want to see Bauer’s pathology report?” Uhhhh. Why?
-“Fire at will”! Because all of the bad guys were just waiting for orders to shoot at the FBI?
-I’m going to give Jack Bauer 2 more JBKC’s for those hip checks.
-It really is helpful that all handcuffs have a universal key.
-Haha. The look of the homely redhead when Tony killed her was awesome.
-“You killed my son! My son!” Tony clearly is more upset about the death of his unborn son than the death of his wife. Emmy time for Tony.
-Tony’s now been shot for the 3rd time today.
-Which I suppose is better than dying for the 3rd time.
-I’m thinking Tony’s only play is to testify. Why wouldn’t he?
-Wouldn’t Alan Wilson be a known player?
-Now the FBI’s only play is to get Tony to testify.
-Oh, now they’re moralizing and rationalizing torture.
-“Because maybe I thought, if I saved them, I could save myself.”
-“These laws were written by much smarter men than me, and in the end I know that these laws have to be more important than the 15 people on the bus. I know that’s right. In the end, I know that’s right. I just don’t think my heart could ever have lived with that. I guess the only advice I can give you is try to make choices that you can live with.”
-I hate Olivia.
-Again, where did Olivia get $250K?
-And how did the hitman get the bomb onto to the car outside of the FBI building?
-“Alison, spare me your sanctimony.” The First Husband is more of a douche bag that I figured.”
-Tim the FBI guy isn’t going to be there until the end of the episode. What’s up with that?
-And Janice, lame until the end. That’s good.
-Haha. It’s the Muslim dude. And Jack Bauer invited him, that’s excellent.
-“We live in complex times, Mr Bauer. Nothing is black and white.” “Simply a man.”
-She’s going to have her arrested.
-I knew it!
-“I will do everything I can to help you through this.” Like, for instance issuing a pardon.
-I really don’t have any comments about the Renee/Janice torture conversation.
-Was there anyone watching who didn’t know how this stem cell transplant was going to end up happening? I mean, anyone?
So that’s it, then. Another crappy season in the books. Looks like the show wanted to equivocate on the question of torture and leave it up in the air. Jack Bauer seems to think that torture is wrong, unless… Renee seems to be making a case for the ‘ticking time bomb’ theory, except nothing is ticking, there’s just some vague threats of future conspiracies. And then, in favor of the rule of law is the President, sending her own daughter to jail… I don’t know. Next year is going to be just as dumb.