If you remember from last week, I freaked out a little bit about Tony Almeda’s (seeming) move to the dark side after killing Larry Moss dead. While that was one of the more surprising moments in television history, it was surprising because ’24’ had spent the better half of a season setting Tony up as a good guy (after setting him up as a bad guy). If they can do whatever they want, why should we even bother watching it, let alone writing about it?
Imagine if you went into work tomorrow and told your boss, “I just signed a $12 million client!” Everyone would probably be excited and surprised. And then a couple days later when you said, “Just kidding, I didn’t really sign anyone,” everyone would be SHOCKED, they’d never see it coming. And then you’d get fired. That’s what watching ’24’ is like, you don’t care about the plot twists because they’re based on lies. In any case, we’ll be back here live at 9 EST.
-You all knew that’s what they were doing, right? Faking the lawyer and her White House security clearance. They couldn’t have done that in advance? Also, why not just kill the lawyer?
-If you couldn’t tell, I’m in full disdain mode.
-I wish I could say this was the last of Kim Bauer, but you never can tell when they’ll bring her back.
-Haha. Agent Walker is the ranking agent. And only 2 hours ago, she was in custody.
-And Janice is going to be the new White House notifier?
-“Someone is going to need to notify Larry’s ex-wife. Probably shouldn’t be me.” Haha. Because I broke up the marriage!
-Pretty awesome how free they are with the news that Larry Moss was killed.
-“You want me to blow up a couple dozen FBI Agents?” What will that do?
-I’m psyched that Jack Bauer is at least going back into the field.
Cool new Mac ad.
-I’ll say again, why was it so hard to clone the lawyer ahead of time. Also, why not just have the lawyer be bad?
-The bad lawyer is probably going to kill Jonas, right?
-Or give him a suicide pill.
-I don’t think the lawyer can insist that Jonas not be spoken too, I guess she can try though, huh?
-Ho, that guy looks familiar… Anyone remember who it is?
-I like Jack Bauer trying to psychoanalyze Renee.
-Alright, I know there’s a lot to process emotionally, but can we find the canister?
-And Jack Bauer has figured it out.
-Auto fire? Wasn’t it a shotgun.
-Jack Bauer figured it out, but wouldn’t Tony have known Jack Bauer would figure it out.
-Hey now, that’s not Chase. Does Chase know Stephen? That man has 2 arms.
-Oh Jeebus. Didn’t she have a baby with Chase? WTF.
-Kim, didn’t you tell him about his granddaughter named after your old wife?
-Who is Agent Stoller? Can some dude just get into the FBI radio?
You notice that the guy from that T-Mobile commercial is Mel’s husband from Flight of the Conchords?
-I swear, they better not make Hodges out into a sympathetic character now. That’s all they need to do, isn’t it?
-You know what else, though? Megalomaniacs like Jonas Hodges can not commit suicide.
-Is he having a heart attack or choking on the pill.
-Do we know how they’re all listening to Agent Stoller? Have they heard of him before?
-Wow, it’s a good thing Jack Bauer was there in the operations HQ, huh?
-I’m going to say it. This show is dumb.
Life After People: The Series looks cool. It’s the first post reality show.
-Tony brings Agent Walker out, right?
-I guess not.
-“We need a medic.” Isn’t everyone calling for a medic now?
-Here we go. Jack Bauer in the HOUSE.
-“Kill you myself.” Again. So you can die for the 3rd time.
-Does Tony really think he can talk his way out of this?
-Jack Bauer is going to give his seizure a seizure…
-And he would have stopped the ambulance before they drove away. And they would have had a triage set up to send the most badly hurt men to the hospital first.
This live blog might just turn into a curmudgeonly look at everything that’s wrong with ’24’. I’ll try to prevent that. I’d say next week should be better, but I have no more hope. Things are bleak. Things are bleak.