23 different reasons I gave when asked by someone why I was growing a mustache again this year – none of which were actually the reason I grew a mustache again this year.
1. I lost a bet.
2. Why not?
3. My wife hates it.
4. My lip gets cold when I ride my bike.
5. For charity.
6. I look good with a mustache, [wink].
7. For Twitter.
8. It tickles.
9. I won a bet.
10. I don’t need to answer questions like this.
11. I like the smell.
12. They’re making me do it at work.
13. I’m trying to get fired.
14. My wife loves it.
15. Because I can, sort of.
16. It’s none of your business.
17. The children of strangers like it.
18. It makes me look older.
19. It’s a secret.
20. It makes you think, doesn’t it?
21. It allows me to enjoy beverages for an extra second.
22. Everyone’s doing it.
23. I’m not.
Reason # 24:
I’m trying to emulate my dad!
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If I were growing a mustache I’d just tell everyone it was for a future costume party where I’m dressing as Barney Miller.
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[…] Somerville’s Aaron Cohen gives 23 reasons he grew a mustache, but they’re not actually true. […]
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