Big surprise this week, folks. I will be in an undisclosed location from 9 PM – 10 PM EST, but I know the Live Blog must go on. I’ve arranged for the trusty proprietor of Unlikely Words, Matt, to fill in for the week. I’ll be watching the episode tomorrow evening and adding my Live Blog thoughts then. In the meantime, let’s remember where we were.
Jack Bauer got his JBKC up to 37 in a 2 against 9 firefight and was able to momentarily capture the bioweapon. However, Sepia Tony was captured, Jack Bauer was exposed to the bioweapon, and the bioweapon was recaptured by Starkwood’s assault team. They showed previews of an assault on Starkwood with military helicopters, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that doesn’t happen until next week. In any case, be nice to Matt!
Hey, folks! Matt here. I’m totally psyched for my first ever Live Blog of the Twenty-Four Television Show. As Aaron said, I haven’t actually ever watched this show before, but I’m sure the “previously on 24” will catch me up. Right?
(Ooh, neat, House. Never watched that either. Check out the American accent on Bertie Wooster!)
Previously, someone shot Red Forman? And a lady President? And an FBI agent who’s been bitten by a vampire? These are very helpful previouslies! With the little name tags and everything?
Hee! It’s a Jack Bauer car wash. I hope he gets the Turtle Wax.
Is that… Janeane Garafalo? The hell?
“It’s in our manual.” That’s… not a cool line, Jon Voight. He’s not really bringing the pep talk, is he? I’m assuming these are the bad guys, because they’re all wearing black. And punching this gentleman with the cool facial hair.
Jon Voight can’t believe he’s hearing “give up” from the squirrelly guy? He’s the squirrelly guy!
These doctor people? They are… very stilted.
Who’s this girl? The one who looks kinda like Rory Gilmore?
Rick Berman? Isn’t he the Star Trek guy?
I have to believe the scripts for this show use ellipses liberally. “Some kind of DUN DUN DUN neurological pathogen.”
Aaaand… commercial. Wow, this live blogging is harder than it looks. I’ll try to keep up.
We’re back! This is a very emotional scene! I’m sure it’s quite powerful if you know who these people are. Are they going to kiss?
Why does she want the gimpy agent? He’s all old and brokey.
“We’ve just learned that the day doesn’t end at 11:20 PM. This is an important breakthrough!”
Mad cow weapon? Rad.
1,500 mercenaries? That would be a very small war in our own backyard.
Listen to law guy. “Congressional approval… from those douchebags in Congress. Laws suck.” I have decided that this president’s name is Georgina Bush.
Whoah! Squirrelly guy! I did not see that coming.
Well, that was 25 minutes of “suspense,” just to find out that Jack’s fine. I really totally thought they’d kill off the main character! Because I have never watched series television before.
OK, now I look like a jackass. I guess Jack is screwed after all. I’m sure he’ll be dead before the end of the season. Because I have never watched series television before.
What the hell happened to his chest? Does Jack have leprosy, too?
Are these two going to kiss, too? Everyone’s so intense on this show! (I should probably specify who I was thinking of when I typed this, but it applies to just about everyone, so…)
Is there a single line of dialogue in this show that isn’t exposition? This is like a master class in how not to write a television script.
You… have to ask the president for immunity? Shouldn’t they be talking to the attorney-general? Oh, I see, he’s Law Douche.
Nice product placement! WebEx… for all of your going-around-the-law needs.
It’s not super dramatic when Jeneane Garofalo moves her Logitech webcam around.
There are a lot of commercials on this show.
Let’s just recap: we’re 45 minutes into the hour, and has anything actually happened, really? Jack’s sick, this Tony fellow is up and about, they know where the weapons are, and there are exciting personnel changes afoot in the White House!
Wait, if they can intercept government transmissions, why were they interrogating Tony?
“Check your wireless frequency… jerk!” Man, what stirring rhetoric. Wait, is the guy in the tower not going to tell his boss that the FBI is coming? What a helpfully incompetent henchman!
Dark blurry action!
Ooh, squirrelly guy double-cross! No one could have seen that coming. Seriously, I was completely surprised. Because I have never watched series television before.
Uh, bad guys? You know this is treason, right? What’s your endgame?
Well, that was… an hour of my life. I hope regular 24 fans enjoyed the show and tolerated my second-rate live-blogging! Next week, you’ll have the real deal back, don’t worry.
Wow, that’s annoying. I just stayed up an extra hour to do the blog tonight and then lost it all when WordPress decided to log me out. That’s pretty frustrating. I’ll see what I can remember though. Essentially, the First Daughter is a scumbag and there should be nepotism laws preventing her from being named chief of staff. This episode brought to you by Cisco Webex. The bad guys said at the beginning of the episode that the weapons would be ready in about 2 hours.
I’m also curious to know how someone assembled the Joint Chiefs and the Cabinet in 7 minutes AND wrote a briefing. I thought all along that Seaton was playing Tony, but I thought he was doing it nefariously and not impishly. I wonder how Starkwood got 1500 men to agree to go into the conspiracy and not a single one of them spilled the beans. Those guys aren’t going to kill Navy Seals. FBI maybe, though. Jack Bauer has a lot of scars. Renee is annoying. This episode brought to you by Webex by Cisco. They didn’t bring enough men to the compound, which for some reason is going to make it so they can’t get even more men to rescue them. I don’t understand why the writers of ’24’ are so critical of the Blackwater Military Industrial Complex, are they trying to present Starkwood as sympathetic? And how about that ending, huh? I can’t believe we’re actually going to go THERE. This is batshit insane territory.
Sorry about the lack of minute by minute, but Matt’s accounting definitely does the trick. Jack Bauer didn’t get any JBKC’s, and I didn’t see scenes from next week.