This guy, Matt, was lonely and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion Matt bought a centipede, who came complete with a cute, little box to use as his house.

Matt decided the best way to welcome his pet centipede into his life would be to take him to the local watering hole for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, ‘Would you like to go to Frank’s
place with me to have a beer?’

There was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Matt a bit. He waited a few minutes and then asked the centipede again, ‘How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?’

Again, there was no answer from his new pet centipede, so he waited a few minutes more, stewing about the situation. He asked one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, ‘Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a drink with me?

This time, a little voice came out of the box: ‘I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my fucking shoes!’