When I got home (an hour late, as one of my carpool-mates got into a car accident pulling out of the parking lot), Râ€” greeted me with a somber look.
“We have to talk,” she said.
I admit, my mind started racing. What had I done, or failed to do? As my mouth began to form generic excuses, she walked over to the table, reached into the pile of mail, and handed me an envelope. The return address said: “2006 Republican Party, Platinum Member.”
“I swear, I have no idea what this is,” I stammered, opening the envelope. Then, reading the letter inside, I began to laugh.
To a great nation, history has given great tasks. And throughout history, we’ve seen Americans unite to meet every challenge. Our nation has triumphed over adversity. We’ve defended freedom and promoted liberty and democracy around the world.
Now – in this hard-fought election year that will determine the course of our nation – our challenge is clear. We must give President George W. Bush the support he needs to do what’s right for America.
Mr. â€”, I believe your exemplary record of loyalty and patriotism proves you are a leader President Bush can count on in this important struggle.
It is therefore my distinct privilege as Chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC) to present you with your 2006 Republican Party Platinum Card on behalf of President Bush and every Republican leader nationwide. I hope you will be as proud to carry this exclusive card as I am to have the honor of presenting to you.
Sure enough, tucked into a response card with checkboxes for donations from $25 to $1000 was a shiny card with my name on it.
I hate to break it to Ken Mehlman, but I think he might have gotten his enemies list and his mailing list crossed up.
I admit I’m especially amused by this bit:
I’ve asked my staff at the RNC to carefully track every card issued. If your confirmation is not received in the next few days, I’ll have to assume your Platinum Card was not delivered, and I’ll need to go to the extra expense of ordering and sending a new one. So please don’t forget to mail it right away.
Oh, yeah. I would certainly hate for the RNC to have to go to any extra expense.