Re: Lactose, and the tolerance thereof
In light of the recent ingestion of two scoops of ice cream with several cubic centimeters of whipped cream, I feel obligated to remind you that we are lactose-intolerant. The discomfort that you are feeling now was entirely avoidable; you have brought this on yourself.
While we appreciate the report from the taste buds that the ice cream was delicious, we feel it is not unreasonable to expect you to keep in mind the fact that the ingestion of all dairy products must be either accompanied by the appropriate over-the-counter lactase supplements, or foregone altogether.
I thank you for your consideration in the future.
Reginald Stomach, Esq.
Solicitor for the Digestive System
CC: Intestines, pancreas