Unlikely Words

Interesting post quoting a letter from the creator of “Cops” about his intentions - the steady stream of questionable police behavior as social commentary. Essentially, what if “Cops” had been called “Pigs”? I used to think the same thing about the way “24″ portrayed torture until I found out I was DEAD wrong. It turns out they were actually glorifying torture, not trying to make the Bush administration look stupid for employing it as a strategy.

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This story is a fairly extreme example of just how screwed up our nation is when it comes to sexuality:

Teen Charged With Sending Nude Pics of Herself

A 15-year-old Ohio girl faces felony charges and may have to register as a sex offender for allegedly taking nude photos of herself and sending them to her high school classmates.

A sex offender. Because, clearly, by taking pictures of herself, she’s demonstrated that she poses a danger to others.

The girl, whose name has not been released, was arrested last week and charged in juvenile court with possessing criminal tools and the illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material.

The criminal tools? A cell phone. The minor she illegally used? Herself.

As if that weren’t stupid enough, Broadsheet reports:

What’s more, charges might still be filed against the students who received the photos, regardless of whether they received them unwillingly. State law holds that “anyone possessing material that shows a minor in a state of nudity is guilty of a fifth-degree felony,” according to the Newark Advocate. If convicted, they could face registration as a sex offender for 10 years.

Involuntary child pornography! That’s impressively stupid.

Really, though, the icing on the cake is the name of the high school the 15-year-old pornographer attends: Licking Valley.

Yeah.

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Someone is playing a sick joke. I love cupcakes. I hate sharks.

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Via Baseball Musings, we find that the Expo’s drafted 3 catchers in 1995, 2 of whom, Brian Schneider and Michael Barrett have had pretty good careers. The third plays for the Patriots and hurt his knee 8 minutes into the first game of the season.

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I liked this quotation, and wanted to save it for Googlesterity

“Buffett once told me there are three ‘I’s in every cycle. The ‘innovator,’ that’s the first ‘I.’ After the innovator comes the ‘imitator.’ And after the imitator in the cycle comes the idiot.”

-Theodore Forstmann, quoting Warren Buffett

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This guy, Matt, was lonely and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion Matt bought a centipede, who came complete with a cute, little box to use as his house.

Matt decided the best way to welcome his pet centipede into his life would be to take him to the local watering hole for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, ‘Would you like to go to Frank’s
place with me to have a beer?’

There was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Matt a bit. He waited a few minutes and then asked the centipede again, ‘How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?’

Again, there was no answer from his new pet centipede, so he waited a few minutes more, stewing about the situation. He asked one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, ‘Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a drink with me?

This time, a little voice came out of the box: ‘I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my fucking shoes!’

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Normally I write about sharks, but pirates with tanks seems like a big deal.

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“Vote for Obama, gonna visit grandmama. Vote for McCain, to me you’re a shit stain!”

Be a mensch, go check out Sarah Silverman. What, you want Florida should go Republican again? Nu, so go.

(via Rachel’s mom)

(Obligatory note: although the video at the linked site refers to your grandmother, it also contains language that my grandmother wouldn’t like to hear.)

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I bet you didn’t know that/

Chiefs fans want you to know Sammy Morris blocked Bernard Pollard into Tom Brady’s knee, even if the replays don’t back this up even remotely. Whatever. But after watching the play another 75 times, it dawned on me that Sammy was more to blame than Pollard for the 2008 Patriots season going down the tubes. Sammy, why are you going low on Bernard Pollard like he’s a 345-pound defensive lineman? And if you want to go even further, if Kevin Faulk hadn’t decided to get high at a Lil’ Wayne concert, he wouldn’t have been suspended for Week 1, he would been playing that down, he would have pancaked Pollard, and my man Brady would still be playing now. Did you ever think Lil’ Wayne would be directly involved in the murder of a Patriots season? My head hurts.

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Got an email yesterday from Jon Carson, who appears to be the National Field Director for the Obama campaign. It says, in part:

Matthew –

I’ve never asked you to make a donation before.

O RLY? Because, Mr. Carson, your email includes a forward of an email from David Plouffe which says, in part:

From: David Plouffe, BarackObama.com
Subject: Deadline: Midnight tonight

Matthew —

Election Day isn’t ahead of us — it’s already here.

Early voting has begun in eight states — including the key battleground of Ohio, where voting begins today — and it will be starting in a dozen more over the next two weeks.

Tonight is also the most important financial reporting deadline of the campaign. The resources we have on hand heading into October will decide the size of our voter registration and Get Out The Vote operations.

Your generosity has gotten us this far, but the need for your support today is more urgent right now than it will ever be.

Will you make a donation of $30 or more? You’ll receive a limited edition Election Day T-shirt before Friday, October 17th.

Now, maybe Mr. Carson meant that he, personally, had never asked me for a donation before, but I can’t be the only person for whom the “From:” lines in Obama fund-raising emails start to blur together.

(Huh, honestly, having pasted that email into this blog post is the first time I’ve really read it. Limited edition t-shirt, eh?)

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